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You need to take your time to get through your trauma or your depression; nobody should tell you when you should be over it. There is no time limit on healing, therefore allow your mind and body to set the pace. Learn how to recognize postnatal trauma. Please work on the following advice at your own speed:
Find a trusted person to talk to about the trauma
They need to be empathetic, non-judgmental, and attentive listeners. Your husband may be this person. Be aware, however, that he is likely to be affected by the trauma too, and may feel blame or at fault for things that happened. Therefore you might decide to seek a qualified professional to get you through this rough spot. Contact us if you need further assistance.
Take everyday as it comes
Your mind is attempting to process many things while still allowing you to function in the present. Be aware of your limitations; don't try to do too much. If you were to deal with these events emotionally, it might take all of your time, energy, and life. This is impossible to do because you are undergoing a healing process and you need to deal with everyday life with a family and a house to run.
Feed your spirit with good things
That feel light, like listening to your favourite music with meaningful wording. Read poems, the Bible or ancient proverbs that make sense of your situation; try to write them down and put them in places where you will see them. Also, participate in Therapeutic workshops to give you a time off from motherhood.
Try to bond with your child
It will take some time, but it will work. Not all bonding takes place immediately after birth. Make eye contact with your baby and talk or sing in soothing tones to her/him.
If your child is older there is always hope to start a new bonding process. Never give up, make the first step to break any hidden, unconscious resentment between you. You will be a winner.
Participate in workshops
Meet with people who have had similar experiences. Discussions in a non-judgmental environment are very helpful. Accept what help people can offer, e.g. a family member may not understand your illness but is only too willing to offer babysitting whenever it's needed. Go to workshops and conferences that will guide you to your full recovery. Birth Trauma Counselling recommends the reading of Real Healing After Caesarean which is helping many women at the moment. All profits will go to our support group if you order the book through our website.
Contact us if you need further assistance
Extracted from Real Healing After Caesarean
by Martha Jesty.
Visit www.realhealing.co.uk
or order this book from this website to raise money
Birth Trauma Counselling is a project from Help Women and Children, a non-profit UK organization helping women traumatized by childbirth. Help Women and Children is a charitable company limited by guarantee in England and Wales No. 5959138 based in Surbiton, Surrey, UK
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